Child Custody agreement and questions.?
I know this will be kinda long, but please listen and help if you can. About 3 and a half years ago, my wife volunteered for a 1 year station in Korea (she's in the Air Force). While she was there she chose to leave me, so when she got back, she filed for Divorce. We have 1 child together who was 2 when she got back after her year long deployment. Since she filed, we agreed to come to an agreement on our child's living arrangements and custody agreement, and she would then submit what we agreed on to her Lawyer and that would be what was put in the paperwork. We agreed he would be split between us (3 months here, 3 months there) until it was time for school, then he would stay the school year here (Kansas) and spend the majority of the summer's with her (In Albuquerque - Kirtland AFB). Well, after we agreed, she changed her mind and told her lawyer something different, and then said she wanted him to go to school there. So the divorce paperwork stated the shared custody with no child support either way due to the fact we had equal custody. It also stated that any decisions regarding his upbringing and schooling etc. would have to be agreed upon by her and I. That worked OK for the time being, but we knew we would have to come to an agreement on where he would go to school eventually. So now he is in Kindergarten and we had agreed he would spend half of the school year here, then the last half there and we would need to make a final decision on school before he started 1st grade because we did not want to split him in 1st grade. My ex-wife's parents are here in Kansas (we are both from here), so she planned on coming up to see them over Christmas this year so we agreed that she would just get him when she was here since she was going to be here anyway. Well, she changed her mind and decided to come up at Thanksgiving to see her sister, and then called around Thanksgiving expecting me to take a flight around Christmas to take our son down there since she could not get leave again. I told her it was not an option, but I would be able to drive and meet her half way (what our original agreement was). Now her and her new husband are insisting that I must either fly all the way there or drive all the way there. I told them that I would either drive and meet them half way or he would stay until they decided they could meet me half way. They said they cannot because they are both working 12 hour days and cannot find the time to do it. Now, our son has had issues this school year with paying attention and focusing and such. His teacher said he may be suffering from ADD. So we have been working with him because I am against putting him on medication if it is not absolutely necessary. And he has gotten better and is doing much better. he is adjusted and if you ask him, this (Kansas) is his home, he's always been here expect for the few times he spent a time in Albuquerque, and then in Las Vegas (his mother's new station). I asked her to let him finish out the school year here rather than put him through an abrupt quick change that I think will set him back with how well he is doing. And if he does end up changing schools, that changing over the summer would be in his best interest. My ex-wife and her new husband are continuing to be unreasonable and will hardly work with me, even on meeting to take him there as he was supposed to. Now, I want to file for primary custody and have our arrangement changed to state he should go to school here and stay here. He has the strongest family base here, he feels at home here, he is doing better every day. I thought for a long while before I came to this decision as I wanted to make sure I try to do what is best for him. If staying with his mother was best for him and I believed he was better off there, it would kill me, but i would agree to him staying there. I'm not looking to get any child support from her, i don't care, I can support my son, I just want him here where he has his best chance to succeed and be in the care of family or at school the majority of the time. Please, where do I stand, what options do I have? How do I proceed with filing to have our custody agreement changed? Do I have any legal standing. Pleaser, I need advice from people who know this stuff. If it makes a difference, I am more than capable of providing for my son and my family. I am an Instructor for Automotive Service at a technical College and I make enough to support my family quite well. Like I said, I don't want money from her, I don't care for any child support.
Other - Pregnancy & Parenting - 4 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
The judge looks in the best interest for the child if they are too young to say what they want to do. It looks to me from reading your situation he would vote in your favor because it's a more stable home with you. If he's mainly with you then you would be considered the custodial parent and usually the custodial parent has a higher chance. Hope this helps.
2 :
Go to the courthouse and file for it.The schedule you guys came up with is too unstable for him.It sounds like his mother doesn't even have his best interest at heart, only hers, otherwise she would be working with you to get her son.I think spending the full school year with you and summer months with her would be more ideal.The last thing the kid needs is to be jerked around. good luck!
3 :
These links will teach you how to prepare and how to interview for a good attorney, which does not mean an expensive one. Write me if you have any questions. http://Getting_Started-Fathers_N_Family_Law.dads-house.org/ Http://Attorneys-Hiring_The_Right_One.Dads-House.Org Http://Father_Custody.Dads-House.Org To learn a father's rights, join Dads House. It's free to join, access all materials, and you associate with other fathers going through, and have already gone through, the same issues. We have an Educational Manual that teaches everything that needs to be known in addressing your legal issues. Mention your question here when asked why you want to join, as well as your state? http://Dads-House.org \\\\\\\\
4 :
You really need to come join our dadshouse group. You, and fathers like you are the reason why we are up and running. It is totally free, just a bunch of people who have been there and done that, and we have a lot of people from Kansas. I myself am a step mom and got my husband primary custody of his child and there are more like me on the site, and lots of dads just trying to do right by their kids. Click on the link, ask for approval, wait for an e-mail to come back asking you to answer two questions, answer them in an e-mail back to the moderators and then you are in. it is totally free, no spam, I have been there for about 2 years and I wish I had found this group when we were going through all this custody stuff. there are a lot of loop holes in the system, but we can work on this. You need to file for primary custody soon, while the child is in your care and home in your county or she will file in hers and that will be the jurisdiction. come check out our site. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/DadsHouse/
Title : Child Custody agreement and questions.
Description : Child Custody agreement and questions.? I know this will be kinda long, but please listen and help if you can. About 3 and a half years a...